The Gottman Method is a form of couples-based therapy and education that draws from the extensive relationship research of psychologist John Gottman. Developed by John Gottman and his wife, psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, this method has been proven effective over more than 40 years of research.

One of the key principles of the Gottman Method is that for a relationship to be successful, there must be five times more positive interactions than negative ones. This is because negative emotions, such as defensiveness and contempt, can cause more harm to a relationship than positive emotions can heal.

The therapy focuses on developing the skills and understanding necessary for partners to maintain fondness and admiration, turn toward each other to get their needs met, and manage conflict. It also emphasizes how couples can react and repair relations when they do hurt each other.

The Gottman Method serves all couples, at any age, and in any stage of a relationship. It can be particularly useful for couples who are stuck in chronic conflict, coping with infidelity, struggling with communication, in a stagnant relationship or emotionally distanced, or facing difficulties over specific issues such as money, parenting, or sex.

The therapy begins with an assessment process that includes each partner sharing their history, their relationship philosophy, and their goals for treatment. The couple then undergoes a thorough inspection of their union, including engaging in discussion of a topic on which they disagree. The couple learns about the components of healthy relationships derived from research and works to bolster the fondness and respect that first brought them together. They receive direct coaching from the therapist on interaction skills and developing trust and acquire tools for checking and maintaining relationship health beyond therapy.

The Gottman Method is not just about providing practical skills for managing relationships but also about delivering deeper insight into how the relationship dynamics developed. The length of treatment depends on the severity of a couple’s challenges but is ultimately a decision made by the couple and the therapist.